Who I Was
by The Fiery Bachelorette
Summary: My name was Adrien Agreste. This is my story. (Contains self harm and suicide.)


**A/N This story was inspired by 'My Name Is' by GraySkies99. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir, nor am I being paid for my work.**

**Contains self harm and suicide. Please review! **

* * *

My name is Adrien Agreste. Or rather, it was.

I'm a 15 year old model, student, best friend, companion, son, and superhero.

I go by Cat Noir. A partner in crime with the love of my life, Ladybug. But of course, nobody knows that. It's a secret. I've kept it for just over a year now. I wish I could tell someone. Anyone. About my double life where I chase akumas and fight battles.

However, as a regular high school boy, I hung out with my friends a lot. Nino, my best friend, was always one to cheer you up, either by cracking jokes, or just babbling on about his life stories. He always tells me that my puns are terrible. I don't blame him, but terrible? I think they're at least average.

Then there was Alya. Boy, that girl could report like it was nobody's business. She was fearless, never afraid of an akuma or the akumatised victim. I guess since she's been bait for a lot of them it would start to rub off on her. She was also a great girlfriend to Nino. Though it makes me laugh whenever they disagree on something because she always wins against him.

And finally, Marinette. Oh, Marinette. Alya's best friend. She was a funny girl. She never seemed to be completely comfortable when she talked to me. At first I thought she hated me. Now I'm not sure. Nonetheless, she's a great friend.

So you can see, my life was pretty perfect. I mean, apart from my overprotective father and my lonely home life, all is good.

Correction.

All _was _good.

It started about a month ago. I started hearing voices. Feeling unworthy. Ladybug didn't love me. My father didn't love me. As far as I knew, nobody did.

Plagg told me that it was just the akumas and their spirits, trying to get into my head. It had happened to every black cat previously, though not even the Guardians of the Miraculous, not even Master Fu, could figure out why.

I tried to ignore them. Really, I did. I tried blocking them out, telling them they were wrong, ignoring them.

They seemed to go away when I was with Ladybug, or with my friends. I think it's the good energy from them that drowns out the akumas. But eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed a small knife from the kitchen, and sliced my wrist. Not too deep, but deep enough that it would leave a scar.

I thought it would be my only one, just to help relieve the stress, the pain of it all.

I was wrong. One grew to two, then to five, then to eleven, and soon enough I had scars up and down my arms. It had to stop.

I told Master Fu about it. He gave me a potion to drink that would calm me and drown out the voices temporarily. They were only going to last for two or there months, Plagg said. It was just a matter of time.

But then, last week, I heard the most threatening voice of my life.

_"You don't deserve to be alive, Adrien. There are plenty of other people who would be a better Cat Noir than you. Ladybug doesn't need you. No one needs you. You might as well be dead."_

Plagg told me to calm down. I got so upset that I was this close to taking the ring off my finger. I told him I was done. I couldn't handle this anymore.

* * *

_(Flashback) _

_"You'll find another Cat Noir, Plagg."_

_"I don't want another Cat Noir, Adrien. I want you."_

_"You're just saying that because I give you cheese. Anyone can do that."_

_"Adrien, anyone could give me all the camembert in the world." Plagg paused. "But it wouldn't be you."_

_He turned, about to float away, then spun around again. _

_"No one could ever replace you."_

* * *

So for this, I'm sorry, Plagg. Sorry I couldn't deal with it. Sorry that I wasn't strong enough to make it through.

Sorry that I'm not your black cat anymore.

I transformed into Cat Noir, and jumped onto a rooftop. I marvelled the sights of Paris, the Eiffel Tower, Notré Dame, the Seine. I knew what I had to do.

I jumped.

It wouldn't be that bad, considering that I was Cat Noir, any injuries would be greatly reduced. So I made a decision. And these were my final words.

_"Claws in."_

My name was Adrien Agreste. My name was Cat Noir.

Our team name was 'Ladybug and Cat Noir.'

Now it's just 'Ladybug'.

* * *

**Please, if you are struggling with depression, self harm or suicidal thoughts, tell someone. Get some help. Don't make the same mistake Adrien did, because you're going to regret it. Thank you for reading. **

**Peace out, **

**The Fiery Bachelorette**


End file.
